Talked to wei jun today feeling a bit better then few days before. My heart can feel the pain. The pain is like... I don't know how to describe. I, i feel like crying. But i could not cry out. My heart is the one who crying. The feeling was like heart break or perhaps processing in some broke up relationship feeling! I could not sleep now. I'm feeling weak thou. I need some strength to strengthen me up now. But what is it? I also wanna find out the answer to solve the solution.
Sometimes i will think, it is my problems? Am i a good gf? Am i qualified to be people's gf? Am i doing the right things? All these questions is keep on repeating in my mind to remind me!
Perhaps the answer is no! I'm not a good one. I'm not qualified to be people's gf. Not a good gf. I'm just a failure in relationship perhaps. Does not deserve to be in a relationship maybe.
"Dear God, i really don't know what can i do now. I've lost my way. Do not know how to continue my path. I know avoiding is not the right choice to do so, but except that i don't know how to solve it. Please guide me go through all the bad times. Sometimes when i saw someone posted a picture with their partners i get jealous. Not because of people having bf or gf. I'm just admire on they could took memorable pictures through their relationship. I know i should not compare. I just feel.... Well, no one will understand what i'm feeling now because they had not been through it. So when they speak sure louder then others. I used to trust TRUE LOVE but these words are no longer existing in my dictionary. FATHER, i really do need u to guide me on my way. Every night sleep with tears aren't a good choice. Hope tomorrow when i'm awake everything will be fine."
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