The trauma feeling

I duno why the feeling is just coming back again. The same feeling as the first time i was here in sg all alone. First time moving out from aunt place to a totally new place. And now after a year staying with the whole family and is moving to another new place to stay with my cousin. 

The feeling is hard to describe. What i can say this stuff keep on floating on my mind and make me could not sleep well. The mind just cannot stop thinking of it. Plus keep on nightmare every night. 

Well, perhaps now is 2nd year in here but i still can't suit myself here. It's so suffering sometime. I hope my papa and mama was here to be with me. So whenever i saw them whatever stuff on my head or brain will be gone. I miss them. I really do. 😢 I admit that i'm being care like a baby no matter is parent, friend or even ex bf treated me so.

I don't like the feeling to being alone as in like myself also would not know how to describe. People outside the world are not trustable. I just wanna go home now. To where i belong. When am i going to go through all these stuff? I just want these few years time to pass faster and go back and never come back again. 

Its really suffering! 😭😭 Just like you are staying in a room which are totally dark and could not see any single stuff. As picture shown.